but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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