when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
