Just cropdusted the office
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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