she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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