Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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