I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
