New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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