just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
