I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
