She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just google imaged poop.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
