I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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