And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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