I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
