This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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