Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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