I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
