My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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