Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
