Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
