the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
