How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
