I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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