Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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