i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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