ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
