with your own penis?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
