Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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