Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i love accidental penises.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
