end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
