He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
