I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
