Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
