***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
