No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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