I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
