Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
