this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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