Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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