just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
