got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
