Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
