So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
