after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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