OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
