Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
