She announced her abortion via fbk
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My ATM looks so different sober.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
