I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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