i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
