Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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