I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
